Reflection on Brokenness 

During the winter, while awaiting a green light on a major thoroughfare in my city, I would repeatedly bemoan the fact that a cherry tree had been broken, resulting in its crown laying on the grass.  My ponderance was: “Why isn’t this eyesore removed for it no long aligns with the other trees in the row?”  Then I would wonder what calamity had caused the unsightly brokenness.

Spring arrived; the cherries bloomed.  To my utter delight the broken tree remained alive.  Seeing that its blooms were fuller and more brilliant than the others caused me to rejoice.  Out of brokenness and pain arose new life, joy, and a vivid announcement that spring had arrived.

Recently a urologist said to me: “You have prostate cancer.”  The words hit me as if they were from an errant driver who had haphazardly driven off the road, or a stormy wind which had inflicted damage.  I was a broken cherry tree by a busy road.  In the days that followed I felt as if I was amidst a plague that destroys at midday.  I realized that I was living east of Eden.

Yet, buds began forming as special people served me. Carolyn and Fred see that I have transportation to medical appointments, then delicious meals afterwards.  Matt begins every phone call with a concerned question followed by a listening ear. Kate and Dave invite me to lunch, as does Steven; I rejoice in meaningful conversations with like-minded folks.  Luis provides much encouragement & continues to practically support me, even laughing at my jokes.  My whimsical nature now includes humor about cancer.

Last week, as I began radiation beam therapy, I did so with the determination to bloom again.  Brokenness was far behind me.   Walking by faith, not feelings, I anticipate seeing God’s beauty in my circumstances and trusting in Him.  I am seeking to find a profound hope to be faithful and keep going forward as I rest in the shadow of the Almighty.